Disappointment

Disappointment is like throwing a stone into the sky and then complaining when it hits you - Sadhguru

Welcome folks to yet another exciting topic here at Youth Convo. This week we will be channeling our attention to something we most probably have encountered at one point or another in our lives; disappointment.

Disappointment is loosely defined as sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one's hopes or expectations. The highlight of this definition is the fact that disappointment is birthed from one’s own hopes and expectations. This closely ties with Sadhguru’s idea of disappointment. Our expectations are like the stone we throw into the sky and there is a chance that the stone will come back and hit us, hence, disappointment.

Basing on this, it would seem so appropriate to say, “Lower your expectations! Lower your expectations from people, from yourself, from life, from pretty much anything and anyone.”, but is that all there is though?

Expectations are a part of our daily lives but they however need to be regulated. Too many expectations or expectations that are too high are most likely to be root of our disappointment. Is is therefore important to regulate your exceptions. This does not mean lowering your standards but simply being open to the reality that things do not always occur in the way we wish they would.

Now disappointment is not all bad; before I dive deeper into the detrimental side of it, let’s briefly look at the positive side.

The “positive” side of disappointment

1. It is an opportunity for growth

I know this is a little cliché but ‘what doesn’t kill you really makes you stronger. Disappointment gives you a chance to assess what it is that barred your expectations from being fulfilled and this gives you room to make any necessary adjustments in your power to avoid the same situation again. Take for example you wrote a test and expected to get a 70% but instead got a 30%. Chances are you will be disappointed in yourself perhaps but this also shows you that there is a problem somewhere so you can then evaluate the situation and improve

2. It is a marker of passion

Feeling disappointed when something does not work out only shows how much you really care about that thing. The moment you know how much something means to you; you can better decide on how much to invest into it.

Let’s jump into the negatives

Negative effect of disappointment

As we have already indicated; disappointment comes with a lot of negative feelings including pain and sadness. Given the choice; we would rather not experience some feelings. In some cases, disappointment drives people to give up on the things they really care about and it is a major destroyer of hope. It is therefore important to understand how to deal with disappointment.

How to deal with disappointment

1. Acceptance

Accepting that you are in pain is the first step you can take in order to heal. It’s ok to take it all in and feel the pain a bit. This helps in making peace with reality.

2. Let it out

Suppression of the negative emotions that come with disappointment hinders one’s well-being. It is very important to open up about how we feel at certain points in life. Vent to a friend; journal it; cry if you need to but do not bottle in the pain

3. Learn from it

As I have already alluded to; disappointment indicates to someone that there was a gap between the expectations and reality and allows one to assess the loopholes that lead to the disappointment.

4. Map a way to move forward from the disappointment

Disappointment can drain our drive and motivation to do certain things. In such cases; each individual should take small steps to heal from the pain and logically analyse the steps that can be taken next to move on from the pain.

5. Avoid comparing yourself with others

This may seem like a detour but comparison with others is an element that greatly correlates with disappointment. The truth of the matter is there will always be a person who has done what you failed to do and excelled. This does not mean you are non-deserving or less valuable that they are. In such cases, it is important to focus on one’s self and improve at their own pace.

The topic of disappointment is very broad and this article is simply a tip of the iceberg. Engage with us on all Youth Convo social media platforms as we further dissect this topic. Till next time; cheers!!!

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